Jaynehowarth’s Weblog

Journalist and writer

Posts Tagged ‘parenting

This week I am letting go of my baby

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Today is the day my daughter has been waiting for for the past four years. It is the day that she and the rest of her school year go off away for four nights on their first school residential trip.
For her – and most of her friends – it is the first time she’ll have been away from home (staying away at grandparents’ for a night doesn’t count) for any length of time.
We parents had been to meetings galore, signed pages of permission forms, health and safety forms and medical papers, read letters and online communications about the trip.
With each extra piece of information, my daughter became more excited about spending four nights with her friends in the Lake District with teachers and a handful of parent helpers.
The preparation by the school, which has visited the same site and used the same adventure company for years, was faultless.
And although I couldn’t help but have a few pangs that I was cutting the cord a little more, I was happy for her to go.
The purpose of the trip is commendable: to develop independence and teach the children to work together. In just a few days, they will be ghyll scrambling, abseiling, canoeing, carrying out team-building competitions, taking part in quizzes. They are bonding, growing. They are starting to find out who they are, and who they could be.
There will be born leaders and those who are natural followers, but all will be pushed to find their potential. They are all nine and ten years old and are preparing for life beyond the cosseted world of primary school.
As they approach their final year in juniors, they will look like big fish in a tiny pond; they will outgrow their surroundings and will need to spread their wings.
My little girl and her friends are growing up. Fast.
Inevitably, there were nerves and all looked nervous as the coach pulled away from the school gates and parents waved them off. Amazingly, there were no tears from neither children nor adults. Not in public, anyway.
Of course, I miss her already. But I’m looking forward to her return. And I’m expecting many changes.


Written by CommonPeople

June 2, 2009 at 6:40 pm

Babies affected by your choice of pushchair

with 2 comments

So, babies who face away from their parent/carer could find that their development is impeded.


Research published today by Dundee University, which worked with the National Literacy Trust (NLT) charity, found that babies who faced the person pushing them laughed more and were far likelier to chat and interact than those who faced the opposite direction.


According to Dr Suzanne Zeedyk, a researcher at the university, 2,722 parent-child pairs were observed in 54 areas across the UK, with a further 20 babies examined during a one-mile walk in Dundee.


She found that:


Ø      Only one baby laughed while sitting in the “away facing” pram, while half of the babies laughed when facing the carer.

Ø      The children’s average heart rate fell slightly when they were facing the carers and were twice as likely to fall asleep.

Ø      Parents who faced their infants while walking them in a pram were more than twice as likely to talk to their child/

Ø      But only 22 per cent of adults who were observed for the study were seen chatting to the babies.


Dr Zeedyk said that the babies who faced away from the carer were more likely to feel stressed and “emotionally impoverished”.


“If babies are spending significant amounts of time in a baby buggy that undermines their ability to communicate easily with their parent, at an age when the brain is developing more than it will ever again in life, then this has to impact negatively on their development,” she told the BBC.


“Our experimental study showed that, simply by turning the buggy around, parents’ rate of talking to their baby doubled.


“Our data suggests that for many babies today, life in a buggy is emotionally impoverished and possibly stressful. Stressed babies grow into anxious adults.”


The surprising thing about this study us that anyone should be surprised.


Surely it stands to reason that if your child is looking away from the main carer (who can also looked detached from the whole parenting situation or who are too busy on their mobile phones) then there will be no interaction.


Buggies are low down and children aren’t able to see what’s going on properly anyway. It must be incredibly daunting for them to see a sea of legs, bags and occasional cigarette flying around the place.


Whether the statistics are meaningful or not, it might serve as a notice to parents of infants when they choose their prams and buggies.


Do you want to look at your child? Talk about your surroundings when you are out and about? Just babble inanely together? Even if they are only a day or two old, you can still – and must – chat to your child. Which mother-to-be didn’t talk to their bump? Why should it stop when the child is born? Your voice is comforting. It makes the baby feel safe.


You cannot talk properly when you are a few feet higher and behind them, just pushing them around. (Anyway, it hurts your back to keep bending down to chat.)


Communication is vital. Enjoy long walks, facing each other, and enjoy chatting to your baby. Heck, they soon grow up and the time with them as babies is incredibly  precious!



Written by CommonPeople

November 21, 2008 at 2:52 pm